2022.01.02
I woke up sad today. Another failed marriage. And this is someone I admire so
much: Art and Lysa TerKeurst. Don’t misunderstand, I don’t judge him or her: I
cannot! But I was rooting for them and had considered them to be a success story
until I read her post last night. I read it, and then I thought I read it wrong, so I
read it again. They had renewed their vows and started over three years ago.
Everyone thought it was a beautiful healing story of repentance and forgiveness:
but it was not over. He broke her heart again. The Enemy has a powerful pull on a
heart that is not fully committed to God. Wholeheartedly seeking Him. And then I
opened my Bible to just where I am reading today: Proverbs 7. What a
coincidence: it’s on adultery. A straying heart.
In talking about this with Danny, he made this observation: in our society today,
there is a continual onslaught against the heart and mind of a man. It’s not just
one attraction, or one relationship that you need to get over, but rather a
continual series of attacks by the Enemy. Kind of overwhelming, right?
But he also said this: for him, it’s a matter of staying close to God. Every day.
Allowing Him to fill you heart and mind and give you the strength to resist
temptation. Don’t get comfortable thinking: I made it past that, now I’m ‘home
free’. Stay close to God! Be in love with Him. In the Word. Not holding on to any
secrets. No deceit. And as we are talking about this, it occurs to me: we really
need to be in prayer for our husbands!
So, here’s what I noticed, but before I share this, I want to share this hopeful
verse: ‘Learn to be shrewd, you who are inexperienced; develop common sense,
you who are foolish.’ (Proverbs 8:5). I love this, because the Enemy wants you to
feel that when you have failed you have no hope of healing. Of starting over, of
being forgiven and changing. But it’s a lie. The Bible is filled with offers of
restoration: all it takes is for us to agree with God that He is right; turn from our
sin and walk with Him. We are offered grace, no matter how far we have fallen!
So, suppose you are like me, someone who once made bad choices and found
them empty, and turned to God and found joy and forgiveness, then these are
words that resonate with you too:
‘My son, obey my words, and treasure my commands and live, and guard my
instructions as you would the pupil of your eye. Tie them to your fingers; write
them on the tablet of your heart. Say to wisdom, ‘You are my sister,’ and call
understanding your relative. She will keep you from a forbidden woman, a
wayward woman with her flattering talk.’ (Proverbs 7:1-5). God is our Creator. He
created us and our desires. He created everything. And He is the One who teaches
us how to be happy. Did you know God wants us to be happy? He does. And He
tells us how to be happy in His word. But here’s the problem: I wasn’t in the
Word because I wasn’t in love with God. Or I was once, but I forgot to be careful
to stay close to Him.
These words are not just ‘rules’ but we are told that if we are not in love with
God, they will seem like it. Instead, we are told in Proverbs 6:23, 24 that: ‘a
command is a lamp, teaching is a light, and corrective discipline is the way to life.
They will protect you from an evil woman, from the flattering tongue of a
wayward woman.’ We have a choice: life, God’s way, or death. That’s it. But what
most people miss is what Jesus had to do to cover our sin. He died a horrible
death on the cross for our sin, and I spent almost no time thinking about that.
But when my own miserable choices left me empty enough to respond to the
small voice in my head that said: ‘You have a Creator: why don’t you find out what
He thinks?’ I opened my Bible, and I was amazed at Jesus’ life. His love. His
kindness. His mercy. And His desire to have a relationship with me. So why would
I cling to something that He died to save me from? It’s as if scales fell from my
eyes and I wanted to be different. I wanted what He wants! I want to know Him
better! And the joy and peace that fills your heart when that happens is worth
more than anything this world has to offer.
And then I see words that describe the foolish person. ‘He follows her impulsively
like an ox going to the slaughter, like a deer bounding toward a trap until an
arrow pierces its liver, like a bird darting into a snare, he doesn’t know it will cost
him his life.’ (Proverbs 7:22,23). Are you living your life thoughtlessly? Just letting
what happens happen? Allowing an attraction grow for someone you shouldn’t
even be around? These are things that describe a person who does not honor God
with his life. Again, no judgment, I found myself here once. But no more! When I
realize what God did for me, I no longer want to hurt Him! I am literally overwhelmed with gratitude for what He has done for me, and I cannot help but
proclaim it. And He will do that for you. He has promised that He will let those
who seek Him find Him. Don’t believe the lie that it is too late: it is not! But one
day it will be too late. Don’t wait! And there is not a person alive who does not
value his own life: seek God and live!
But back to Lysa’s post, I have one more observation. She said, “Sometimes the
culmination of all our efforts and the answer to our prayers is that God restores
us in relationships. And sometimes He rescues us out of relationships.” And after
seeing how loved we are by God I must agree with that. God loves restoration.
But it must be with two people who are not holding on to deceit: if one of them
is, that is not restoration. And God loves the people in the marriage more than
the marriage itself. He never calls one person to put up with the deceit of
another. Sometimes He rescues people out of a marriage because He cares for
them. And at the same time as He rescues one, we continue to pray for the
repentance and healing of the other.
